Brenda’s Story

Hello. I really wish you were not here reading Brenda’s story.

However in life there are many experiences that we will share, sadly one of them is losing a loved one, obviously loss, grief and suffering experienced by the passing Of someone dear to us is unique.

I think It would be fair to say that most of us would be in  agreement to say that the circumstances in losing your wife, husband, son, daughter, mother, father play a significant role, most of us will respond quite naturally with loss, bitter, sadness and anger, most of us identify and look at the text book explanations of loss and grieving, very few reach full acceptance.

Its my loss not yours, but as we know one of the many things that we share in life regardless of faith/culture, physically and mentally we feel it. Life will never be the same.

Somehow life must go on, but how, how do we heal, how do we recover, perhaps none of us are meant to fully recover. We just learn to live again, as normal as possible with the loss. Take your time, it is one of the most traumatic experiences you will share In life one that is so easily taken for granted.

Introduction

I as a man, husband, father, grandfather would say my worst fear in life would be losing my wife, daughter, son or one of my beautiful grandaughters. sadly on the 6 oct 2022 I lost my beautiful darling wife, Brenda. Brenda and I were together almost 40yrs, just short of 37yrs of marriage. It is very difficult to describe, or express what brenda meant to me. she was my life, my heart, my soul mate. my very best friend. everyone who knew Brenda, were touched by her, she was quite simply a one off. no thought for herself always putting others first, right to the end. she was and 15 the best woman, mother, grandmother I ever have known, and I am honoured and lucky to have her in my life.

Brenda was only 59 yrs of age when she passed, she had been living for some 3 yrs + with metastatic breast cancer.

Yes this is Brenda’s story, but there are points where I feel are unavoidable. Firstly I am ashamed that I didnt put up a most ferocious fight to save Brenda’s life. when Brenda was first diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer i made it my point to obtain as much knowledge information as possible.

This was to enable me to assist and support any way possible. Sadly Brenda and I very quickly identified, Drs either didnt like being questioned, quite simply they expect you to have full confidence in them. understandably Brenda was of the opinion that by questioning treatment regimes, methods, combined with not getting appropriate or questionable answers it would end with us feeling  a position of no confidence. I recognised the dilema, and fully understood. Brenda thanked me for my support, from then on I played a lesser part, but continued the best i could to support brenda but somehow fell short of fighting for her.

Brenda’s story will hopefully identify and expose, the NHS, and their doctors for their failures with Brenda. Unfortunately Brenda’s story could be one of many thousands of women, and some men, who are sadly let down by the, NHS every day.

I recognise that the story at times will appear, scary and horrific, sometimes reading like a piece of fiction. it is not, all content is factual and honest.

Patients are dying, prematurely at the hands of the NHS and their doctors every single day. Very scary thing to imagine or believe, it’s up to you to read and decide. one of the main motives for the story is to enable you, possibly as a patient to play a, front line role in your own treatment, that will perhaps enable you to prolong your life.

At the moment I believe the NHS and their doctors are practising medicine in a way that should only be described as inhumane, horrific, and uncomprehensible, also totally unethical.

Read the story and decide.

In brenda’s harrowing journey battling with metastatic breast cancer, we encountered a landscape fraught with complexities and difficult decisions, among the myriad of challenges we faced, one of the many glaring issues that stands out- the lack of transparent communication surrounding treatment options. when presented with a potential treatment, we were not informed that this drug could inadvertenly accelerate the progression of the cancer. this omission underscored a larger problem within onocology care, where patients and their families are often left grappling profound consequences due to incomplete information.

As I embark on recounting, Brenda’s story. I compelled to shed light by giving an honest and accurate, blow for blow account of the critical issues that transcended into our personal tradgedy.